Comforting quotes for grief

Life really can be difficult at times.

Most people reading these words will have experienced a loss at some point in their lives, and if you haven’t, you should count yourself as one of the lucky ones. Unfortunately, we will all find ourselves grieving at some point, and in those moments, it can feel like nothing can, or ever will, fix our situation. It can be hard even imagining a time in which we will ever feel truly happy again. 

One of the hardest things to accept in life is that once a person has passed on, we will never get to see them again, and that can be a tough pill to swallow.

There will be times when a person we know and love is going through the grieving process, and it can be so difficult to find the words to make them feel better. Perhaps this is because we, ourselves, know that there is nothing we can say or do that will take the pain away, and overall, we cannot do anything to help them. 

The best we can do is support them through this difficult time, and understand that while they will slowly heal over time, it might take a while before they fully return to their usual selves.

Comfort will have a different meaning to every person: some people prefer to be left alone, while others will want to be in the company of friends and family, seeking support. No matter which type of person your friend is, you should always make the effort to reach out to them and offer your assistance and moral support. 

At the same time, however, we do not want to come across as cliched: while a simple ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ should work overall, perhaps you should consider saying something a little more meaningful and personal. 

If you’re having trouble finding the words to say, we are here to help you. Here are some words that may help your friend momentarily find peace.

Let’s get straight into it.

‘I cannot begin to understand how you must be feeling.’

Sometimes, it’s best to be honest. 

If your friend has lost a parent, and you are lucky enough not to have experienced that heartbreak, then it is true that you will have no idea what they are going through. The loss of a mother, father, or guardian will completely alter a person’s life, as they have lost the person who had, possibly, been with them throughout their whole life. There are seemingly no words to describe how that must feel.

While it may feel easier to say something along the lines of, ‘I know this must be hard for you’, some people may take offense to this statement, especially if you haven’t been through the situation yourself. They may think, ‘well, no, you don’t know how hard this is’. It may feel like you’re doing the right thing by sharing the burden, and making them feel like they’re not alone, but by doing this, it might make them feel like you’re undermining what they are going through, especially while they are in their current, sensitive state. 

So, be honest. Don’t pretend that you understand how they feel if you don’t! While some people may not take offense to this statement on the surface, you have no idea what thoughts are going through their head at that moment. In situations like these, sometimes it’s best to be overly sensitive to their thoughts and feelings.

‘I hope you’re feeling better soon, but please know that you can contact me if you don’t.’

Another saying that we may find ourselves saying is, ‘I hope you feel better soon’. Their reply will most likely be a simple ‘thank you’, even if they’re thinking to themselves that, at that moment, they feel like they will never feel ‘better’ ever again. 

While there is nothing wrong with wishing them well, it is sometimes important to add that even if they don’t feel better soon, that is okay. The healthiest thing a person can do while grieving is to accept their feelings, and not try to push them down: repressed emotions have a way of finding their way back to the surface at some point, and they may reveal themselves in unpleasant ways. 

Encourage your friend to be open with you, without forcing them. Simply let them know that you are there for them no matter what, whether they are happy or sad. Many of us may feel uncomfortable airing our emotions, especially in situations in which we know we might end up crying, but we need to let our friends know that it’s okay to be upset. Not only is it okay, but it is perfectly normal! 

If they would prefer to hide their emotions until they are alone, that’s fine too, but you should definitely give them the option of a shoulder to cry on regardless. It’s the thought that counts, and they should definitely appreciate your support.

‘I wish there was something I could do to fix this. Just know that I am here for you, no matter what.’

Once again, it may be helpful to acknowledge that despite our unhappiness while seeing our friend in pain, there is nothing we can really do to help them heal.

The only thing we really can do, as a good friend, is offer our company and our services. If they’re too upset to leave the house, offer to pick up some shopping for them. If they wish to rant, or cry, or express their feelings in any way, ask if they would like you to join them for a coffee. Perhaps they have young children, and if it was their partner that they lost, this can make for an even more emotional, difficult scenario to live through: in this case, offer to help with the children. God knows the kids will need support too, as they will be going through their own share of confusion and sadness. Give your friend a well-needed break by helping with the babysitting.

Be sure to express that, while you’re aware you cannot bring their loved one back, you really, truly want to help them find happiness again, and you will do anything in your power to make that happen. 

‘This is one of the most difficult tragedies anyone will ever have to face in their lives. Please know that I am here for you.’

If your friend has lost someone very close to them, such as a partner or a child, their lives have most likely been torn up from the roots. While any death is tragic, no matter the circumstance, the death of a younger person can hit twice as hard, knowing that they had the rest of their lives ahead of them.

In this case, it is so important to remind this person that their feelings are justified. They may feel as if they are losing their minds, and they have lost touch with reality. That’s perfectly normal: after all, their ‘normality’ has completely changed through the loss of their loved one.

Let them know that this event is, without a doubt, one of the hardest things a person will ever find themselves going through. Due to this, it is completely understandable that they are not feeling like their normal selves, and while you may not be able to completely relate to and understand their situation as you have never experienced it yourself, you know it is going to take a long, long time for them to recover. 

Remind them that their feelings and emotions are completely legitimate, and that they need to take this time to recover. Also, try reminding them that although life feels hopeless and pointless at this moment, they will experience happiness again. It will take a lot of work, but you will help them get through this as much as you possibly can.

‘I understand you might not want to talk right now, but I will be here whenever you are ready.’

Often, if a person is buried deep in the initial grieving stage, they may want to pull away from their friends and family. This is pretty understandable when you consider that they have, most likely, received hundreds of phone calls and text messages since the death of their loved one: this can be extremely overwhelming at a time like this, especially when they are already going through a tough time. The easiest option is often to ignore everyone.

While your instincts may tell you to reach out to this person and make them know that you are there for them, sometimes the best course of action is to also take a step back. 

As we said, there are so many people who are trying to contact this person at this time, and you don’t want to add to the list if you know this is going to stress your friend out further. The last thing this person needs is to feel guilty for not replying to phone calls.

Honestly, these words may be perfect to say to your friend. This way, you can let them know that you are thinking about them, and that you want to help them, but also you won’t feel offended if they don’t reply right away. Let them know that you understand that they are feeling overwhelmed right now, and emotions are understandably running high: if they feel that they are not mentally well enough to have a conversation at this point, tell them that you are okay with that. All you care about is them feeling better, and slowly getting back to some sort of normality. 

It is such a great idea to let them know that no matter how long they take to heal, you will be waiting for them on the other side of the phone, no matter what. That is the sort of friend that they will need at a time like this.

‘Healing takes time, and you are doing the best that you can.’

Now, for some words of encouragement for your friend.

You will want to let your friend know that they are doing the best that they possibly could do, even if it may feel like they are failing. The grieving process has a funny way of making us feel like we’re useless, and that everything in our lives is utterly hopeless. At this point, we can’t imagine a life without our lost loved one, and in our darkest moments, life may not seem worth living without them.

As a friend, you will need to inform them, in the gentlest way, that this is simply not true. Healing is never a straight line: there are no milestones that you will reach, and then you will suddenly be completely healed and happy. Depending on how close a person is to the person that died, that feeling of loss may never completely disappear: even on their best days, that feeling will come creeping up, and suddenly it’s as if no healing ever took place. 

As we said, healing takes time. In most cases, we are not given the time to prepare ourselves for the loss of a loved one, so how are we supposed to know how to heal? The answer is, simply, that we won’t. These things sneak up on us, catching us off guard, and all we can do is push through it, taking each day as it comes. 

Remind your friend that while they are in pain, and all may seem hopeless in that moment, they are doing really, really well, and that you are so proud of them. 

More Than Words

While it may be difficult to find the right words to explain how you’re feeling, and you feel that your friend may not even view the message, it is so important that you reach out to them. Grief is one of the loneliest places to be, and those will need all the support they can get. 

Just think about what you would like to say, and perhaps, think about what they need to hear. Most importantly, when the time comes, be there for them for support. Words will only take you so far, and in the end, it will be your actions that speak the loudest.

We believe in you, and we wish you the best of luck.